really tho straight guys will go on and on about how uncomfortable it makes them when gay guys hit on them but lets be fucking honest how many times have u seen a guy continue to hit on another guy after hes visibly uncomfortable vs. how many times a straight guy has continued to hit on a girl after shes visibly uncomfortable
ALL OF THIS.
i feel like this is one of those things you can know and still not get. like, we know allowing ourselves to be vulnerable opens us up to all sorts of great things: personal growth, love, opportunity… yet we still fight it. why? because fear.
i happen to know someone whom i find rather [insert great things]. yet i recently realized i cannot look this person in the eye for more than about 30 seconds without making a concerted effort to do so. this is not natural for me - i am the direct, open communicating, look you straight in the face type. what is it with this particular person?
well, in reflection, i realized this is not the first time i’ve encountered such a situation, although the people involved weren’t always all that great. the reason i couldn’t look any of them in the eye? they invoke a sense of incredible vulnerability within me. and i have no idea why.
well, that might be a lie, in part. but i’m not gonna tell the whole world what part, lol. what i will tell y’all is that i’m opening up to the vulnerability. rosebuds too tight & painful n shit like that. i still worry about getting used/hurt/drained/etc. but i think i’m doing myself more harm by not being open to the fullness of life. and really? any time i’ve been hurt in more recent times, i’ve healed rather quickly. i think that’s because i’ve actually already started on this journey of being more open & taking more risks.
so this latest realization may just be the universe calling attention to some areas where i still struggle. or maybe it’s time for me to vibrate on up a little higher. either way, i’m ready. *exhales*